We were just a wee bit slow in getting our holiday card out this year. We did have it ready before 2013 came around, we really did, but since we were living the simple life in the 55+ community in Palm Springs we were seriously retired folk. Think late afternoon swimming, solitaire with actual playing cards and a bedtime of like 8:30pm…it was divine! Crazy how we went from being new parents to full on retirement all within a couple months. But, as 2013 hit we decided it was time to come back to reality and get our holiday cards out, not to mention get back to work and such. Anyhow, I would say this card truly captures our current state in life: our days have been vibrant, simple and quite honestly very very pleasant. Life with our little gal is awesome and I’d like 17 more kids if they are all like her.

If you have not guessed it by now, we had our baby…little baby girl Freya was born on October 30^th and to say we are overjoyed is an understatement (I seriously mean that!!).  We’ve had a few amazing weeks and some time to adjust to the transition of life with baby and now that the third round of company is gone and our lives are a little quieter I’m able to get back to reality (in small doses). Each day I have a goal of one thing I’d like to accomplish and while most days the task of showering will be enough today I told myself I MUST jot down her birth story before I forget it all, even if I have to do it one handed and it takes me several hours. So, here goes:

October 29: 7:30am. I woke up feeling like I had to pee and maybe couldn’t hold it in. Little did I know this urge was my water breaking (super anticlimactic!).  I went to the bathroom, walked Oslo for a mile or two and when I returned home my “systems” just felt different. I had a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions during the pregnancy so it was hard for me to know if these feelings were more of the same or not. Nonetheless, I semi ignored it all and started working at my job like I normally do (I’m a dork). When C woke up I told him things were “feeling different” and of course being the logical person he is he said I should call the hospital. I called and they said to come in. So, I lollygagged…and worked some more (major dork!). We left around noon and luckily the roads were clear …one thing I feared as much as labor…the drive to the hospital in rush hour traffic! (and just for the purpose of journaling this I have to add that C did miss the exit to the hospital, ha!) The gals in triage took a test and indeed my water had broken. So, the party was about to begin. I went to my labor/delivery room and tried to make myself at home, watched a little CNN, followed the little bit of hurricane Sandy that I could, listened to the presidential election coverage, etc (have I mentioned I’m a dork?). We brought all the things we thought I’d use to help me get through the pains, like a birthing ball, music, aromatherapy oils, massage techniques, breathing techniques, etc but I didn’t need any of it. My nurse suggested the one thing that got me all the way to 8 centimeters dilated: find a non moving spot on the wall and when a contraction begins focus on this spot, take a deep breath and three long breaths out.  So that is what I did. I found two handles on a cabinet that in my delirious state my mind transformed into eyeballs and the line below the cabinet turned turned into a smiley face. No music, no TV, no massage, no nothing except for the comfort of having C by my side. All the while our parents (who were scheduled to come in two days later) did their darndest to change their flights to make it in time for the birth. Ctrons mom was able to go standby and make her way to the hospital on public transport and just to help buy her some time I elected to get an epidural (aka the pain was getting to me but I like to pretend that I got it so she could get there for the birth). I probably didn’t **need** the epidural, the nurse said I got through the difficult part of labor, now I just had to push the baby out, but I had major fears of the pain that was to come and if I’d reach a point of no return and regret it. So, they numbed me a C’s mom made it. At 11pm the midwife and nurse came in to help get me pushing. Not too far into the pushing stage I had a contraction that wouldn’t go away (I couldn’t feel it, thank goodness!) and this stressed the baby…so her heart rate dropped. Immediately they put me on oxygen and in rushed several doctors (i.e, scary!!). The midwife stimulated my belly and got baby’s heart going again but I’d have to say this was a moment where I said to Cooper “Whatever happens happens”…although my head was fairly calm through it all I had a fleeting feeling that we could lose the baby. A little while later a new midwife came in and said “I’ve read your charts and to be totally candid with you I think at this point because the baby endured so much stress already, you may want to consider a vacuum delivery. I think you’d be very successful in doing so but I have to explain the risks….etc.” The catch was I’d have three contractions to give it a go and within each contraction three attempts to push. If baby wasn’t out by the end of the third contraction I’d have to go in for an emergency c-section.  So we went for it. I pushed and pushed and I guess the head started to come out but by the end of the third attempt of the third contraction we still didn’t have a baby out. My reaction head at this point thought  “oh geeze” (that is the filtered way to say it!) But my doctor said “KEEP PUSHING!!” And about three or four pushes later at 1:03am out popped a cone headed BEAUTIFUL little girl. I’ll never forget her coming out like a limp noodle and it wasn’t until I heard her cry that I could breathe again. We did it!  M a n   a l i v e. The doctor had to sew me up which took a long time and apparently I lost a lot of blood…at one point I heard one doctor count all the blood filled rags and when she got into the double digits I wasn’t sure she was ever going to stop counting. And just to put on a show for everyone when they took me to the bathroom a few hours after Freya arrived I guessed I passed out like four times, ha! But, then I got back in my dirty bed and ate a plate of hospital food (spaghetti and meatballs) and drank juice! And ate pudding!! (Both of which I hadn’t had in months).

The following days with family around to help care for us I seriously felt like I was on vacation…minus the fact that I have to wake up every few hours at night to feed.  Our moms cooked, cleaned, walked Oslo, did the laundry, fed me when I needed an extra hand…I didn’t have to change a diaper for the first 5 days! In no time we got out, went for lots of our usual dog walks, went out to eat, ran errands and ended every evening with a celebratory meal by my mom by candlelight. I would say one activity a day was enough to knock me out by evening and I did have a few moments where I was so tired I hit a major wall but overall life with baby has been just incredible and with mornings like today where we wake up to her smiling at us (probably just gas but still) we just melt. She has really been pretty easy on us so far…I’m waiting for her frisky side to emerge. But, we are in love and are completely embracing each moment and every day with our new baby girl.

I probably won’t be posting much about baby Freya on the blog since my husband is a bit more private than I am and we’d like to keep her off the interwebs as best we can but if you’d like photo updates I’d be glad to send you some visuals from time to time…just e-mail me and let me know you are interested! I’d love to share.

Yup, we are now at 39 weeks. I have had a life beyond just getting bigger and I probably should have documented a lot of the goings on so I don’t forget all the wonderful/challenging events (mental note: amazing baby shower, family visiting, mom’s bladder cancer, “foodie-moon,” food trucks etc) but I’ve been slacking. I’m going to pull the pregnancy card on this one. Maybe I’ll get to these at some point…

But for now I told myself I need to document a little of how this pregnancy thing has gone for me before I forget it all. So here I go (in no particular order):

• The one comment I’ve appreciated the most from strangers and family/friends is “You look healthy.” Hopefully these have been genuine comments but compared to anything else anyone has ever said the “healthy” made me feel really good.
• The food aspect to being pregnant hasn’t been as fun as I thought it might be. Not sure why exactly but part of it may be due to questioning too much whether what I was eating was good or not…and over thinking things. Having a “glucose intolerance” (i.e. borderline gestational diabetes) at first was frustrating and I didn’t know what I should be eating, but then it helped guide me with portion size and quantities of certain foods that would best for me and ultimately I think it was a blessing in disguise because it forced me to eat lots of protein all day long….when normally I probably wouldn’t. The downside is I have a major sweet tooth and crave fruit juice, cinnamon rolls and anything with salted caramel in it….all of which I haven’t touched in months.
• I had a moment last night where I was really thankful that we decided not to move. We majorly debated on where we should be and why we shouldn’t stay in our loft but at the moment I’m really glad we stayed put. Part of it is probably because a number of our neighbors either recently had babies or are having kids so the “vibe” in the building is changing but also I think mentally I’m just happy to be here…for now (not forever).
• The Thomas’ pumpkin spice english muffins are really good.
• I loved the moment when my family was leaving after our baby shower weekend and my sister and I had a weepy girly exchange (which we don’t usually do) because the “Assi” she had always known was becoming a “Mama Assi.” Thank you, sista, for having this moment with me.
• Being pregnant in hot hot heat is painful…and makes you swell. Thank goodness the bay area has such a temperate climate.
• Since I work from home and don’t have a super social life on a day to day basis I’ve loved that strangers will talk to you.
• On the flip side, I’d say I’ve become a major hermit in some ways…especially during the first trimester.
• I’m proud that I helped Cdawg with his work up through my 8th month. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to deal with several 12 hour days on my feet in the heat, lugging camera gear around and such but I did it and I felt great.
• The baby ALWAYS kicks when it hears Katy Perry. Uh oh.
• People always ask what cravings I’ve had…and my pregnancy brain can’t remember. So I have to document: greek, ethiopian and mexican foods, french dip, cheesy pizza and anything sweet. If I had my way I’d also spend my days eating nothing but fruit with maybe some greek food on the side…ha!
• I’ve really appreciated how amazing friends/family have been through the entire process. The sense of community, sharing and love that comes with having a kid is incredible. I hope I can share the love with others.
• I have not worn jeans in 8 months. Dressing myself has been a challenge (thank goodness for clothes from Emiliana!!)
• I have lots of gray hairs but am not doing anything about it.

If you had asked me last week if I was ready I’d say no way…not talking about ready with material things but mentally I just wasn’t ready. I had a few moments feeling anxious, questioning whether I could handle being a mom and such but as of this week my mind has quieted and I feel like I’m in a good place. You can never really be ready and I have no idea what we are really in for but mentally I’m in a good place. We are certainly not in the clear until baby comes and who knows what sort of card we’ll be dealt but I’m in a good place and am excited. Bring it baby!

Although we are not in the clear yet (not until baby comes out), we are thrilled. The entire baby growing process is so incredible…I have no idea what is going on or how do deal with it all but it is just happening! Due date is Nov 2nd but I’m hoping for an Oct 31 arrival. As I tell my nieces…if it comes on Halloween then maybe the baby will come out wearing a hairless rat costume. Ha! (the look on their faces when I said this was priceless). We don’t know if it is a boy or girl so it will be a surprise for one and all. Just keep your fingers crossed that all goes ok for us. All I can say is I LOVE being pregnant during the summer in the bay area…the produce tastes better than ever!

1.) Went home to Colorado. I loved walking in the early morning with my mom. I am my mom. We both really enjoy eating corn.

2.) Have had 7 nosebleeds in a week and a half. I blame 6 of them on the dry Colorado air and one on stabbing myself in the nose while playing with the dog. The best attack came on 2 minutes before a conference all for work. Thank goodness it wasn’t a video call.

3.) Prime steaks. Nectarines.

4.) Witnessed a snatch and grab robbery while on BART. Note to self: if you are ever in your own world looking at your iphone it is prime time for someone to swipe it out of your hands and run away. I wish I had reacted fast enough and tripped the guy running off the train. I also heard something outside our window but can’t mention what it was because then my parents would want me to move away from the bay area, ha!

5.) Tea with a long time friend. Good for the soul.

6.) Came home after leaving Cron for a week and found he had installed a DISHWASHER! And it was FREE! I am a new woman thanks to that contraption and thanks to Ctron.

7.) Got stabbed in the hip by a bee. My hip developed this great, big, itchy welt on it for days. Thank you bee. I still love you.

8.) Just being with family. Although we are collectively a bit intense at times we’ve got spirit and spirit keeps you going.

9.) Seeing the best aerial view of SF from the plane. Wish I had had my camera handy. The lighting was magical.

10.) Listening to the symphony outside. This summer we’ve listened to the SF Symphony, happened upon the NY Symphony rehearse (in Vail) and watched the SF ballet dance to the symphony at Stern Grove. Makes me feel fulfilled.

I “flirted” with these guys for at least 20 minutes..

And this was my favorite print:

After our trip to the De Young we treated ourselves to some of the best/smokiest beef brisket I’ve ever had. And the next few hours buying a new black suit. It was a wonderful wonderful day. I had a great bday on behalf of Cooper, ha!

On his actual birthday (which was a Monday, unfortunately) we dined on Burmese food and I made him his traditional strawberry shortcake…

But, to get myself caught up on what we’ve been up to, how’s about two photos from the road on our road trip to Washington in May? The second image is my dream world.

One sad side story: we went to Red Robin on the way home (because we couldn’t find anything better to eat) and I didn’t want anything on the menu so I cried. At Red Robin. I seriously wept tears at Red Robin because I couldn’t find anything to eat. I’m so embarrassed but so it goes and the side salad and mac ‘n cheese blob I ended up eating tasted mighty good. To end this drama saga on a high note, after our meal the solar eclipse was happening so we got to watch it and probably burned our eyeballs.

And before that onslaught of orange-y citrus, a friend of ours gave us a bunch of wonderful meyer lemons from the garden of a friend. So I made some meyer lemon bars that are not “egg-y” tasting, ohhhhhhhh so good! (This image is of the very last one, I had to take a picture to immortalize the last few bites).

The recipe:

(adapted from Ina Garten’s recipe)

Crust:

• 1/2 pound unsalted butter at room temp
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 cups flour
• 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt

Filling:

• 6 eggs
• 3 cups sugar
• 2 tablespoons grated meyer lemon zest (4 to 6 lemons)…the lemon zest makes this recipe!
• 1 cup freshly squeezed meyer lemon juice (we ran out of meyer lemons during this process so Cdawg made a quick trip to the store and so half of our juice was from a regular lemon which tastes totally different but still good. Meyer lemons reign supreme).
• 1 cup flour
• Confectioners’ sugar, for dusting