a massive pile of…


Smiling Mazie dog.

A momentous event happened last night: I stepped in a massive pile of dog dookie.

After a long days work the thought of a freezing cold bike ride home sounded painful on my little lungs.  Luckily Cooper was gracious enough to pick me up, but karma had it in for me. Upon arrival at our apartment, I swiftly exited the car so as to get my bike out of the back in record speed (so another car could park behind us).  Without looking I stepped on a large pile of what felt like mud….I slipped around on the pavement…working to put the tire back on my bike.  Then I noticed that the massive (and I mean massive!) pile of mud that I stepped in had quite a stench to it.  An awfully horrific stench. I had to confess to Cooper that I stepped in dog turd (to which he laughed of course).  So, instead of riding my bike home in the cold and potentially not messing up my shoes, I was outside for an hour trying to scrape dung off the bottom of my soles.  The other issue I faced was: what do you do when you live in an apartment without a balcony or private access to the outdoors?  I couldn’t walk in the halls with my shoes on, but luckily I did find a water spout and one of my old toothbrushes so I continued to scrub my shoes.  Man did I scrub.  I then attempted to hang my shoes outside of my window and had to tie them to the curtains in our living room so they wouldn’t fall on the busy street below.  I suppose moments like this help you to appreciate the luxuries of having some space and living in an actual home. 

Author: Ali Carras

At a very young age I lost site of my mom in a local grocery store in Boulder, Colorado. I did, however, have the smarts to go to the customer service counter. The kind woman at the counter asked "What is your name little girl?" My reply: "Assi." The woman gave me a look like, "Are you playing with me you little devil?" but she proceeded to blast on the loudspeaker the "We have a lost Assi at the front of the store." Customers throughout the store gagged and giggled, but my mom knew exactly who the woman was referring to: the mullet haired little girl with a tongue too big for her mouth, wearing a leotard, skirt, tights, and jelly shoes (with florescent green laces in them...even though they didn't need the laces). A shy little character for whom every little detail in life was a huge thing. I am pleased to report that today I am able to fully pronounce Allison (aka Ali), but the Assi pseudonym has always stuck, evolving into Aszi. As for the shy little character for whom every little detail in life was a huge thing? Some things never change. I have closed my comments due to mass amounts of spam that no filter could ever control. Feel free to contact me abeckord [at] gmail.com!

© 2018 AsziChild