golden bubbly all over the place

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Question:  Are 3 liter bottles of wine currently a trendy thing, or now that I have purchased one am I suddenly attracted to the big kahunas?  I bought the above bottle as my brother’s wedding gift (along with 2 wine glasses which are designed to fit an entire bottle of wine per glass….totally my brother). Next to the 3 liter bottle is a magnum bottle of Dom Perignon.  Next to the Dom Perignon is the forever cheap favorite Charles Shaw.  The Dom Perignon bottle serves as a memory which leads me to tell a great story:

It was at the holiday party 2005, atop the Starlight Room in San Francisco.  It was a beautiful clear night with 180 degree views of the city.  People came and went way too quickly for our offices to go through the tab that we had at the bar.  So, what do you do when you have over a $1500 non refundable tab and only a dozen or so people around?  Have a swanky champagne ordering contest of course!  The table across from us ordered a $200 bottle of champagne…silly friends.  We took their $200 bottle and trumped them with a $450 bottle of Cristal.  Our young waitress sashayed to our table in her extravagant evening gown and said we could order that bottle as long as she could have a sip (she had never had Cristal herself).  Twenty minutes later she returned to report that their cellar was out of Cristal.  Ok, then…back to the drink list and on to a more expensive $500 Magnum bottle of Dom Perignon (which also meant back to the cellar for another 20 minutes).  At this point our competition table was nearing the end of their bottle, so the thrill of outdoing their measly little bottle was dying.  While waiting for our bottle of Dom to chill (another 20 minutes) we calculated how much more we “needed” to spend which then required ordering expensive aged glasses of grappa, port, cognac, etc.  Then came time for the Dom.  Our pretty little waitress began to pop the cork and while doing so she started to tell a story, but before we knew it mass chaos broke out.  The cork popped and hit a guy standing behind the waitress in the eye.  Champagne sprayed everywhere (most of which also covered the guys behind the waitress).  The magnum bottle was on the floor…spilling expensive champagne everywhere.  We ended up with an inch left of the bubbly and expensive gold liquid.  The poor waitress was devastated and ran off crying while her manager rounded the corner with fire in his eyes.  He offered us two smaller, younger, and probably cheaper bottles of Dom Perignon to enjoy instead (which we again had to chill for another 20 minutes) and we pleaded for him not to fire the pretty young waitress.  The competition table was long gone.  We sipped the Dom Perignon and relived the night of absolute chaos and frivolousness.  The one thing I learned out of the entire event: Dom Perignon doesn’t taste any better than a few cheap bottles of champagne from Costo.

 

Author: Ali Carras

At a very young age I lost site of my mom in a local grocery store in Boulder, Colorado. I did, however, have the smarts to go to the customer service counter. The kind woman at the counter asked "What is your name little girl?" My reply: "Assi." The woman gave me a look like, "Are you playing with me you little devil?" but she proceeded to blast on the loudspeaker the "We have a lost Assi at the front of the store." Customers throughout the store gagged and giggled, but my mom knew exactly who the woman was referring to: the mullet haired little girl with a tongue too big for her mouth, wearing a leotard, skirt, tights, and jelly shoes (with florescent green laces in them...even though they didn't need the laces). A shy little character for whom every little detail in life was a huge thing. I am pleased to report that today I am able to fully pronounce Allison (aka Ali), but the Assi pseudonym has always stuck, evolving into Aszi. As for the shy little character for whom every little detail in life was a huge thing? Some things never change. I have closed my comments due to mass amounts of spam that no filter could ever control. Feel free to contact me abeckord [at] gmail.com!

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